My Soul

February 09, 2021 by Soul On Ice

Things weren’t supposed to end like this. Marcia and I were seven years apart, and while her memory was always sharper than mine about the two years we had together before our three younger sisters came along, we remained crazy-close. She had one little brother and I had one big sister. That was something we were proud of and something we spoke about quite a bit.

Writing this in the past tense is not easy. It never will be easy to think of you in the past tense and, honestly, it makes me angry to do so, but never at you, and more about how cruel life is.

We got to spend 38 years and change together. We could never stay mad at each other. We could get fed up with other people, but never with each other. There was a time when she was 12 years old and already had a knack for saving money. I was five years old and only knew how to spend it. She and my mom left to go somewhere, and I took it upon myself to go into her room. That was my first mistake, but if I was going to mess up, it was going to be big.

No Kap, No NFL: Three Years without Football

June 30, 2020 by Soul On Ice

The last NFL game I watched was in January 2017, a divisional playoff matchup between the Green Bay Packers and the Dallas Cowboys. Anyone who watched that game knows it didn't end well for Dallas. My boy Tinsley chronicled his experience in real-time, exposing people to a day in the life of a Dallas Cowboys fan. It was also the last time Tony Romo would ever wear an NFL uniform as he went on to retire later that calendar year. As was the case after every Cowboys season before that, the disappointment would carry into the later months and I would simply recharge the batteries for more anguish and pain once the 2017 season began.

However, there was no 2017 season for me, because the 2016 season was also the last time Colin Kaepernick would play in the NFL. Once it became obvious as to why he wasn't on a roster and allowed to compete, I renounced my NFL fandom and vowed not to watch another game until he was signed to a NFL roster. I have not watched it since. The way I saw it, if Colin Kaepernick was willing to jeopardize his career on behalf of people who looked like me, then I was willing to give up the NFL as a source of entertainment, no matter how long it had been a fixture in my life.

There is an expression as battle-tested as the days are long and it is very simple: God don't like ugly. That was a reason why it's been easy to not watch an NFL game, not engage in conversations about the NFL with anyone who continues to watch the product for over three years, and why it has been easy to never return. Colin Kaepernick took a knee to highlight systemic oppression against black and brown people and people of color in the United States and, as someone who has been black all my life, I knew exactly what he meant. It was easy to align with what he was doing. It did not take having to bury an unarmed loved one killed by the police for me to be upset. I see myself anytime I see stories of black and brown men who are treated unjustly by American law enforcement. It is impossible not to take it personally when people who lack empathy trivialize your feelings and stance about what has long been an issue in this country.

My Heart

January 09, 2020 by Soul On Ice

To understand the love I have for my youngest sister is to go back to December 5, 1990, and understand that the sister I love deeply is the same sister that I thought was going to be my little brother. Kathrine, another one of my younger sisters felt the same way. Kathrine was tired of having an older brother who didn’t want her coming to the playground to play ball or sit together and play Nintendo. The plan was for Andrea to never be Andrea, and in our adolescent heads, or our parents telling us we would have a younger brother, we were prepared to shower a little boy with all of the love, care and ice cream we could muster up.

Then we get to the hospital and my mom is holding a newborn girl. Safe to say, neither Kathrine nor I were happy and wanted absolutely nothing to do with the newest member of the family. Sharon was cool with it because now she had a younger sibling to play with. Marcia was cool with it because Andrea was healthy and she was smart enough to realize that was the most important thing. My eight-year-old eyes refused to look her way. I threw a fit at Denton Regional Medical Center, left the delivery room and sat right down in the waiting area. Eight-year-olds can’t drive, at least in America, so driving back to the house wasn’t an option. Instead, I fumed in a chair while everyone else celebrated the birth of my youngest sister.

However, the fury was short-lived. Once I finally looked at her, it was impossible not to fall in love with her and despite having three sisters already, it was settled right there and then, that Andrea was my favorite sister and my job was to be the best big brother she could ever have.

Minor Setbacks to Major Comebacks: Amanda Nunes is the Face that the UFC Needs

August 15, 2019 by Soul On Ice

Amanda Nunes occupies an interesting space not only in the UFC but also in the realm of sports in general. She is the current UFC bantamweight and featherweight champion and is regarded as the greatest women's fighter of all-time. However, the general public does not know much about her, an aspect that has been explored at length. People have spent time pointing fingers at the UFC, something that UFC President Dana White feels a certain way about. While Dana White is an easy target, blaming him would not only be convenient, it would be inaccurate.

As much as fans love winners, fans also love feeling like they have been along for the ride with their favorite athletes, especially when said athletes have faced adversity on their way to the top. To quote Eddie Maisonet, "We (the fans) need a reason to give a damn." What Amanda Nunes lacks in star power is through no fault of her own. Instead, it's on the people who want to see her be a star to tell her story. It’s on the people to give fans the chance to invest in her. It’s on the people to make people give a damn.